For the last couple days at least, I have finally allowed my compulsive internet surfing to subside. I got an internet filter called K9. It's the kind families use to stop their children from going where they should not. It works really well. I've put in a lost of websites that are restricted. And that list has expanded quite a bit because I kept looking for substitutes. Then I put in some url keywords that are banned. Now I feel okay. I've stopped random surfing for a few days. I just have to make sure, I don't surf on public computers. So far I haven't. But just now, I had a dangerous thought. I thought to myself that I should go read the news online to distract myself from my stress. It's the most dangerous idea. I know that if I go back to those things, I'll find a hook and then it's all over. So I just need alternative methods to relax. Or even better, now that I'm spending less time online, I'll be more organized with my studies.

I'm on the first day of another 40 day resolution. And I really need to focus on that. I need to follow it to the letter. If I break away from it for a minute, I'll almost certainly break away from it for good.

I thought I'd feel lousy without my compulsive behaviors. But I actually feel much better. I feel alive.

What did you expect?