I'm on my way to proving the pastors at xxxchurch.com wrong. I haven't surfed porn for two weeks now. And most of that time, I was home alone by a computer with high-speed internet. My mind was full of excruciatingly exciting websites I wanted to go on. I broke it a few times in somewhat subtle ways. However, I held fast. I did it by lying on my bed jerkin off. That was not the best idea.
Now, I want to take it up a notch. I want to completely control my internet and television surfing in the same way. I'll keep to a schedule. And I can only do it one day at a time. Start with today. Keep a schedule thru thursday. The three day weekend will be exponentialy harder. So if I set up a good base these three days, I'll have a decent chance.
I think I give off a bit of a "dirty" vibe. And it still hasn't worn off. But I'm trying. Do they realize how long it's been since I've refrained from porn for so long while I had unfettered access. Discipline. I can have it.
And I feel better about myself. I feel good that I'm on my way to conquering my demons. Keep it up. I like this.
What did you expect?
2 comments:
Good luck with your quest! Some words of advice from someone who's managed to abstain:
- get yourself a filter and ask someone else to set the password. That will really close the doors!
- Make sure your departure from porn is not replaced with another addiction. Addicts have a tendency to do this.
- Tell people about your problem. That will make you feel accountable and you will feel very relieved afterwards
Well I can not get a filter because it's my family's computer. I told a friend of mine today somewhat in jest.
- My quest isn't just to abstain from porn. It's to abstain from jerking off as well. I aim to be master over my domain.
- I don't know if there's anything nearly as addictive that I would consider. I drink alcohol sometimes, but that won't become a serious addiction.
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