Alright, so I had a relapse. It's 4:30 in the afternoon. I spent all day masturbating, perusing a few of the porn clips on fleshbot. Then I read some blogs. It's not a complete relapse. But it's getting dangerous. I need to bring myself back from the brink. No matter what, I have to make something of myself. I have to put in the effort - the toil, sweat and tears. [I just started thinking what website I can go to that will satisfy my porn addiction. NONE!!! Follow my schedule!

I must become someone. No internet surfing! It's painful to acknowledge. But I'm an addict. I'm not normal. And I may never be normal for the rest of my life. I may need to take certain precautions for a long time. Besides Fleshbot, I haven't looked at any other porn website. I must keep it that way. No way can I go back to the bad ol' days.

Watching that documentary about Jack Johnson inspired me. If you have a Netflix account, you can watch it 'instantly.' It's called 'Unforgivable Blackness.' It's about a man who insisted on being free when just about everyone in society told him otherwise. He once said, "my experience tells me that the best way to fight prejudice is to act with people of other races as if prejudice doesn't exist." He was an individualist. He did whatever pleased. He took great risks for his success and his pleasures.

What did you expect?